be-musings

The National Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. Correct installation is illustrated below:

Here's the story.
On the way home from school, Matthew was talking about a special rock in the school playground. He said it fell from space, and it is real silver. He will dig it up and collect alot of money for it. With the money he will buy all the schools of the world and shut them down. He will ensure noone goes to any school by fining those who do. So, I'm thinking school isn't always his favorite place to be! I tried to ask him how the children of the world would learn things that school teaches. After a little while he said "Well, I'll open one school and everyone has to go only there". I wonder what the fee will be? Could be a way to get rich.

Yesterday after the 2 year old was finished eating lunch he slumped out of his chair as per usual. This time he stayed under the kitchen table for a bit rather than getting up right away. I went into autopilot for a few moments and found myself kneeling under the table with him, washing his face. Somehow in retrospect it doesn't seem unusual. But I had a good snicker at myself.

Coming up in the next blog...Matthew's plan to dominate the world. Yes, it's a true conversation we had yesterday. Stay tuned.

It's been a couple of months since my guts have spilled out in the blog, and it's time for a more direct revealing. I will not speak in innuendo, but directly. Comments will be banned for a time period, to protect my heart from the expected barrage of abuse that may follow. It is disappointing that the blogs, which began with healing purpose and community experience, are beginning to spin into something ugly. Just recently a person opened a blog site with the express purpose of slamming someone (that being Scott). Seems to me people's true colours are shown by their gossip and hostility. I don't know if what comes next will create a larger negative impact than what is already happening, but I sure hope not.
Yes, I am in the midst of a divorce. There is rumour that it has been caused by Scott; supposedly that he broke us up. I haven't wanted to tell my side of the breakup story because I don't want to put people in awkward positions of wondering what to believe, feeling that they have to choose sides, getting gossip spinning, or starting a mudslinging contest with Brander. Also, if I end up with sympathizers I don't want Brander to have to deal with fallout from that. I have no desire to "ruin his reputation" (not to assume that I would/could say anything which would create damage). Unfortunately not everyone around the breakup shares those same viewpoints. I will still not go into the reasons for the divorce, but will express some direct things which hopefully do not attack character.
What people don't know is that divorce was not a new topic in our household. It stems back at least 11 years. Later in the post you'll see the reason why I say that. The breakup up was not sudden in that way, and it was not for reasons which were new. They were long standing in our relationship. We were persistent in trying to push through, though many of the problems resurfaced repetitively. It's none of your business what the problems were.
There is accusation that Scott was influential in the breakup. His role was only that he happened to be invited out and over on two occasions, and facilitated counseling sessions. He heard the problems of the years laid out and witnessed the two way conversations. He was there during the initiation of the breakup, at Brander's request. He played the role of the objective counselor, asking questions of both of us, reiterating what he heard us saying, checking for clarity. He encouraged us during the first "session" after hearing everything laid out, when he said "You guys have always been able to talk honestly, which goes a long way to solving things".
In the first couple of weeks that Brander was gone, the three of us were contacted by a Free Methodist authority. Not wanting to drag them into this blog I won't name names. I think the purest truth comes when a difficult experience is brand new, before animosity or conjecture sets in. I was the third person contacted. At the end of my "questioning session" I was told that all three of us said the same thing about our three-way friendship and absolved Scott of any inappropriateness in the breakup. I was naive enough to think that's where the rumour and innuendo would end.
Breakup and divorce is hard, for both parties, even the "initiator". I have chosen through this to remain as silent as possible. I cannot assume, and the new blog site is a perfect example, that others have chosen or will choose the same path. I wonder sometimes how people think they have the perfect opinion or answer when they weren't in the room during first-hand conversations, don't know both people well, and rely on one person's take on the situation. How bold or foolish does a person have to be to believe that Scott can be so influential as to strike up a friendship and 7 weeks later end a 22 year healthy/happy marriage? To quote Princess Bride "Inconceivable!" (Image the lisp on that one.)
This particular post may end my blogging, if people decide it's inappropriate or malicious. I hope in my heart that I have not been malicious. You may sense frustration, because it's hard for me to sit back for so long and try to be a person who doesn't express my feelings when I hear slander, gossip, and mean-spiritedness. I don't want to be perceived as doing any of those things. Yet, even in my silence I am hearing that I am or have been doing many bad things. I would like to continue blogging, and will try not to care if the number of readers diminishes. I really hope that I won't have to write about this topic again, because this is not my idea of the purpose of the blog. It is my desire to lift and encourage others, and hope that on most days people are when visiting this site. If no one does, then there is no point to blogging. We have enough sorrow in the world around us. Hope is what we all need. Sometimes it wanes dim...but one day the light will shine again.

One evening (a number of years ago) I turned on the oven to preheat for supper. A few minutes later there were flames inside the top of it, and smoke was pouring out of it! This was NOT a grease fire. Being the daughter of a fireman, I knew what to do...don't open the door. Okay, maybe I could have opened the door and doused the fire with baking soda, but the first rule (I thought) was if you didn't have to feed it with oxygen, then don't. Who knows where it could spread next! So, I called the local fire department and reported an oven fire. Presumably electrical. Well, since it wasn't a big fire and definitely not a house fire, I said "Do you mind not bringing the big truck or using your sirens? A little van will do." I was told that they only do things one way - with the big truck. That's embarrassing. Wait a minute, it gets worse.
So, I lived one block from the fire hall. The truck came down the street, sirens blaring. Then it went by because it couldn't see the house number. They doubled back, this time searching all the house numbers with the spolight. Could it get any worse? Soon everyone knew the firemen were coming to my house. They ran in, wearing full gear, I pointed to the stove and they opened it, exinguishers poised. By this time the fire was waning. A bit of reaching to the back of the stove, and out dragged a plastic Disneyland Mickey Mouse cup. Yep, it was in the oven, the oven heat began to melt it, and the cup caught on fire. The men left me with an industrial fan to blow the smoke out of the house, and a face red from shame.
I used to shove my dirty dishes in the oven when getting unexpected company, and then take them out to wash them. Let's say that after that I made sure no plastic dishes went in there. Now I have a dishwasher to hide them. But if you don't have a dishwasher and you haven't done the dinner dishes and someone calls to come visit...consider the oven. It has a smoked front so no one can see in it.
Darn Mickey Mouse.

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been
drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

Back to Hebrews 11. The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see. It's easy to have faith when the substance is seen, but very difficult when the substance is not seen. Moses and the promised land, Abraham and offspring "as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore", Noah building the impossible and the previously unseen (the ark). Here's what is said about all of them as a summary (verses 13-16, 39-40):
All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country–a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.
These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.
What shakes your world? Wish you could see some evidence to your faith? Sometimes you have to believe first...sometimes that's all you have.

First of all, to those who are wondering when Matthew's tonsillectomy is, I found out today the wait list is 6-9 months. Wow! When I told him he said "Good".

On to the main story. At supper the other night Matthew was sitting on the side edge of his chair, one foot on the floor, as all the children here seem to do. It's always a conversation 20 times a day, because there are 4-5 children here every day. Sit in the middle of your chair. Keep your feet off the floor. Put your plate in front of you. You see, they put one foot on the floor at the side of the chair, so that they're basically standing with one butt cheek still resting on the chair. Then they push a bit with the standing leg. Well, soon enough their plates are on one side of the table and their chairs have migrated next to the wall or some other direction away from their plates. I could almost play a game of musical food with them. Oh man, I got lost in another story again.
Okay, so Matthew was doing that. But he was also tipping his chair to one side and then back down again. I had my head down cutting my food and I said "Stop tipping your chair." He was amazed. "Mom, you weren't looking at me - how did you know that I was doing that?" Apparently he knows nothing about the fact that a tipping chair makes noise that can be heard from one foot away. That plus I could see it. I said "Matthew, it's called peripheral vision. When you look straight ahead, you can still see to the sides a bit. Plus, when women have children they also change so that they can see what's behind them as well. It's true even when they adopt their children." I said this with a straight face of course. Matthew asked "Mom, can men do this when they become fathers?" I said, "Perhaps a little, but probably not as well."
How gullible was that?

Okay, so the Care Bear test got me curious. Here's me:

	Tenderheart Bear You are thinker, organizer, peacekeeper, and leader all in one. You have a power to command attention and people listen to you. However, you are often so concerned about not hurting others' feelings that you don't tell them what they need to hear and this gets you both into trouble. But you always have loyal friends to help you out.
Take the Which Care Bear Are You? Quiz!

Ahhhhh, maybe it's fake. After all, how could Rob Deyo be Grumpy Bear?

Grumpy Bear You are always complaining about something, especially about always having to do all the work, and make the easiest things difficult. Your grumbling can go too far and really hurt those around you. Even though you can be hard to deal with, others like you anyways because you are mysteriously charming and cute when you're mad. You are good at fixing things and are willing to take on large tasks...with a little grumbling of course!

Take the Which Care Bear Are You? Quiz!

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.

So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him.

He sees him banging his head against the wall, and wailing, "We forgot the "R", we forgot the "R". His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"

With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was 'celebrate'."

When you’ve been broken, broken to pieces
And your heart begins to faint, cuz you don’t understand
When you’ve got nothing to rake from the ashes
And you can’t even walk onto the fields of praise
But I bow down and kiss the son

When the rock falls, falls upon you
And you get ground to dust, no music for your pain.
You opened the windows, the windows of heaven
Then you opened me, and crushed me like a rose
But I bow down and kiss the son

… though you slay me I will trust you Lord
… though you slay me I will trust you Lord
… though you slay me I will trust you Lord
… though you slay me I will trust you Lord

But I bow down and kiss the son

WOW! That was fun!!!!! The band was awesome, the friends were forgiving, and I truly enjoyed myself. You might be able to tell by the third picture in this post. During one song "Joe Cocker showed up". That's a term I use to describe a groove I get into. When a song envelops me, the jerky thing starts happening like Joe Cocker does. Yep, that happened tonight. The highlight of the evening was when we all sang Amazing Grace together and worshipped.
Thanks everyone for being so gracious, and especially to the people in the band.







The Lord is gracious and compassionate
Slow to anger and rich in love.
For the Lord is good to all,
He has redeemed us from all that we have done;
As far as the east is from the west,
That's how far He has removed our transgressions from us.

Praise the Lord O my soul, praise the Lord.

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the
answer to "Where do pets come from?"
Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us
every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it
is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will
be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you
will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or
childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as
you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.
And it was a good animal.
And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his
tail.
And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the
Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."
And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be
a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own
name, and you will call him DOG."


And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.
And they were comforted.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail..
After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said,
"Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen
like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has
indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."
And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who will
be with them and who will see them as they are.. The companion will
remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not
always worthy of adoration."
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.


And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's
eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.
And Adam and Eve learned humility.
And they were greatly improved.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was happy.
And Cat didn't give a crap one way or the other.

You know, I rarely learn the lesson that when I skim something I get stuff wrong. I will never be a speed reader. I said I was done with Hebrews, but it seems I'm not. You see, there is chapter 11, which upon closer look seemed so much more significant than when I had skimmed prior. Before it seemed like a boring genealogy. That was because I didn't read past the first half of every verse that had a name in it. It seemed like....and these are the people who loved and served god...yadda yadda yadda. But then I read verse 1&2gain. "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for." You can read the whole chapter at the link, to see the description of the names of "the ancients" and the results of their faith.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=65&chapter=11&version=31. Let me spend a moment on the first couple of verses.
My definition of the word "hope" is wacky (which shouldn't surprise those who know me). We often think of hope as something which in intangible or even uncertain in whether the end result will come. I see that our "hope" is Christ. For this I refer to an unorthodox view of the latter part of Colossians 1:27 "Christ in you, the hope of glory". Now I've done the bad thing...really segmented a tiny portion of scripture. That was done so as not to go into the Colossians background for time sake. In that verse I really see that Christ is the Hope. Which makes it not really hope, but assurance. And the "hope" and "assurance" is not ours but it is His. He creates it, sustains it, fulfills it. What is our part? To allow His belief and certainty to live in us.
Now I realize this isn't always easy. Even after holding to this tenet I went through a time of wondering if that which I lived my life by was incorrect. So many schools of thought out there, and sometimes so little communication from God. At least, the communication I wanted. But I had to come back to deciding who was Christ...liar, Lord or lunatic. The rest seemed peripheral and my faith revitalized.
So, if I connect this to the Hebrews passage, faith once again is Christ. Sure of what we hope for...Him. Certain of what we do not see...Him. To deny or accept, and then to be satisfied that the journey is His, not ours. The ancients had to make radical choices to believe or not to believe that which seemed radical, impossible or never before experienced. To trust that the journey was not theirs.
My life is not my own. But I give it willingly, knowing that what I have is so much deeper than what I could have by myself. Knowing that I have Hope.

This Saturday is my first coffeehouse gig at Classic Rhythms in Abbotsford. 12 songs, throw together band, only one prior rehearsal. Not stellar stuff, but come out with fun in mind and you can't go wrong. You have to think of it that way, because it might be hilarious to watch!