be-musings

Yes, I know Easter is over and I'm late in blogging stuff. I just couldn't pass up these stories though. There will be a second one coming over the next few days.

Last Easter at New Heights, Greg led the congregation in an Easter salutation. He came onto the stage and shouted "He is Risen!" The normal congregational response should be "He is Risen Indeed". Not this church. Let's try that again. "He is Risen!" Everyone screamed "WWWWWOOOOOOOO" with fists raised in the air. Only at New Heights. To be honest, it excited me, because it was such a heartfelt celebration. No pretenses, and full of culture. Greg looked surprised and shyly said into the microphone... "He is risen indeed" then left the stage.

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?" The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket." The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the Driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
“Only when he's been drinking."

11 years ago I heard about the significance of the Passover Sader in relation to Christ. The symbolism is amazing. Rather than recount it all, this website will probably cover it better. The symbolism and fulfillment of promise is amazing.

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10 (wise beyond his years)

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
-- Curt, age 7

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
-- Ricky, age 10

Seems my mom has an admirer. Somehow I don't think there's a worry about a new step-dad in the future.

Yesterday I called a utility company (unnamed due to possible implications, but it wasn't cable or hydro. Get the drift?). This company has a voice-activated system rather than touch. In their line of business it makes sense to have more advanced telephone communication...get the drift? I was looking after the kids and doing laundry while giving verbal responses. Apparently other noise sometimes confuses the system. The lovely patient female voice had to ask me to repeat myself a couple of times. I got to the section that seemed to be the most appropriate, and the phone rang and rang and rang. Seemed unusual for that kind of utility company. Get my drift? I hung up and tried again, beginning to be frustrated. As I navigated again, the lovely patient female voice asked my phone number then repeated it back incorrectly. At the confirmation request I said "No". "She" paused and said "I'm sorry. My mistake. Could you please tell me again so I can get it right." Here's the first flaw to having a female voice on that system. What woman would admit to that! After navigating to a different section with the hopes of getting a quicker connection, I ended up in totally the wrong section. Suddenly I blurted a frustrated "CRAP!" The voice waited, then said "Okay" with that hanging on at the end that a person would do who thought you were being unreasonable but was being too polite to really say it. Well, one more voice answer from me and the next thing you know I had a real person on the phone! Not even one more ring! Here's what I think happened. The phone system identified my word, and jumped me ahead of everyone else. I was picturing the internal lines going into a red alert. Frustrated client uttered a potential cuss word from the preprogrammed cast number of them in the system. Alert! Alert! Jump her ahead so she doesn't swear more and ask for a manager! So, the next time you call into this unnamed place, you could probably cut through all the B.S. by cussing. Or at least saying CRAP!

Here's a scripture from Sunday (segments of Ephesians 4:25-32). I'll write it like they did, in a personalized format, and hope that maybe you too can say these things, with Jesus' help.

I will put off falsehood and speak truthfully to my neighbour, for we are all members of one body. In my anger I will not sin. I will not let the sun go down while I am still angry, and will not give the devil a foothold. I will not let any unwholesome talk come out of my mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. I will get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, along with every form of malice. I will be kind to and compassionate to others, forgiving them, just as in Christ God has forgiven me.

At the church I attended today there was this funny story in the bulletin.

As Grandpa Bob drove into the driveway he could see his four-year-old daughter, Julie, and a couple of her friends playing in the backyard. It was almost Easter and he wanted to know how much these children knew about the Easter story.
Approaching the three little girls he asked, "Who knows why we celebrate Easter every year?"
One friend chirped up first: "Oh, that's when you go to the mall and sit on the big bunny rabbit's lap and tell him what you want in your Easter basket."
Her second pal's answer was no better: "No, no, no! It's when you get a tree and hang eggs on it, and you wake up on Sunday and there's presents under it and..."
At this point Grandpa interrupted and gently said, "That's a good guess, but that's not quite right. Julie, do you know why we celebrate Easter?"
Julie nodded her head. "It's when Jesus was crucified. He died, and Hid disciples put His body in the grave. They rolled a big stone in front of the opening. And the guards went to sleep. Then, on the third day, there was an earthquake and the stone rolled away..."
Grandpa was really encouraged that Julie knew so many details. Then she continued" "And then the entire town would come out by the grave. And if Jesus came out and saw his shadow they knew there would be six more weeks of winter!"
Well, at least little Julie had a portion of the message right!

May God, who puts all things together,
makes all things whole,
Who made a lasting mark through the sacrifice of Jesus,
the sacrifice of blood that sealed the eternal covenant,
Who led Jesus, our Great Shepherd,
up and alive from the dead,
Now put you together,
provide you with everything you need to please him,
Make us into what gives him most pleasure,
by means of the sacrifice of Jesus, the Messiah.
All glory to Jesus forever and always!

I struggle for something profound to say here. Perhaps the verses say it all. No wait, maybe there is a thought. God puts all things together. God makes all things whole. We get impatient along the way, but we don't really need to know what He's doing...we would just try to give Him advice anyways. What a relief, because I'm confused a lot of the time. Provide us with everything we need to please Him...I recall Scriptures that say He already is pleased with us...by means of the sacrifice of Jesus.
Seems to me it's all been done. All been figured out. We don't know what that means but that's okay. He does.

10The altar from which God gives us the gift of himself is not for exploitation by insiders who grab and loot. 11In the old system, the animals are killed and the bodies disposed of outside the camp. The blood is then brought inside to the altar as a sacrifice for sin. 12It's the same with Jesus. He was crucified outside the city gates--that is where he poured out the sacrificial blood that was brought to God's altar to cleanse his people.

13So let's go outside, where Jesus is, where the action is--not trying to be privileged insiders, but taking our share in the abuse of Jesus. 14This "insider world" is not our home. We have our eyes peeled for the City about to come. 15Let's take our place outside with Jesus, no longer pouring out the sacrificial blood of animals but pouring out sacrificial praises from our lips to God in Jesus' name. 16Make sure you don't take things for granted and go slack in working for the common good; share what you have with others. God takes particular pleasure in acts of worship--a different kind of "sacrifice"--that take place in kitchen and workplace and on the streets.

Tonight I saw the movie Hitch. One line really struck me. The premise of the movie is that Will Smith's occupation is a "date doctor". He arranges for men to meet with women whom they are in love with, and coaches them through the first few dates, as they hope this will be the woman they are with forever. He himself is a commitment phobe, due to an experience earlier in life. In one scene he's talking to a woman while he's "stoned" on Benadryl and drifting off to sleep. She tells him about a near death experience she witnessed, when her sister fell through the ice on a pond. Those kinds of things change life forever, they agreed. In his stupor he drifted for a moment into his memory of betrayed love without really telling the details. She looked at him and said "It leaves a scar". There was that moment where they understood what wasn't said. He was afraid to love again and so was she. I don't remember the exact next line, but she said something like "Makes you not want to love again", and he mumbled "or not skate". Those lines struck me. It seemed perfectly logical for him to be afraid to fall in love again, but not so logical for her not to ever skate (at least in an arena).
Sometimes we get so afraid of what we have experienced that we close ourselves off to ever experiencing it again. And we trade in part of our sanity and part of who God has made us to be because we are afraid. Sometimes we cloak it so much that we aren't even sure why we have fears and we even forget specifically what they are. Occasionally we hear or see something that puts it all in perspective for us and we realize we have a choice. To continue to give in or to stand up and move ahead.

Today my sister and I were talking about our elementary report cards. We are very different people in some ways, as was evidenced then as well. Her teacher said that she rushed her assignments, thinking she will run out of time. In actuality, she was among the first to finish, and throughout school still didn't change that behaviour. She never sacrificed quality, but if she could find an inventive way of doing it quicker she would. She finds that even now her perception of time is different from it's reality.
Throughout the early elementary years I received comments that though my work was done very thoroughly and well, I needed to have more sense of urgency about it. In a work environment I am now quick to learn and complete projects, but certainly not the speediest. For me it's important to enjoy the process and be convinced that things couldn't have been done better at the end result. I will double-check the work from another angle. Time is still relative to the enjoyment that is found within the movement of it (yes, that means I'm always late for things).
It's interesting that, though we all as people adapt and change over our lifetime, there are certain constants. Some things don't change, and perhaps there are a number of things we can see as patterns in our lives. Weird to think that a grade one report card can be connected to the behaviours of people when in their 40s.

At a children's literacy course not too long ago, I learned one thing. It's hard to remember more than one thing from any course or sermon...know where I'm coming from? The "enlightenment" was that a child has to hear a word an average of 100 times in order to properly learn it. How many more times do they need to hear a concept in order to understand and apply it?
Recently I re-read a portion of "Welcome to the Funny Farm". The author tells a story about her young daughter, who during hide and seek always chooses the same two places in the house. Her husband makes a big deal out of trying to find her, like he doesn't know where she is. He knows where to find her, but allows her time to "be hidden". The author then relates this to God. Here's a quote:
"When I'm hurting or confused or rebellious, sometimes I try to hide from God. But you know what? I always hide in the same places. I always run to the same old sins or distractions and try to hide behind them. I think I'm so clever, as if my heavenly Father doesn't know my tricks already. Like he doesn't know where to find me.
But the truth is that he knows where I am and, like the loving dad that he is, he's willing to give me a little bit of time until I'm ready to be found. He lets me play my game until I get sort of cramped and lonely in that secret place of mine, and then he can't wait to scoop me into his loving arms."