be-musings

Need a Plumber?

You may have noticed that my blogging has decreased over the last couple of months. It's difficult to keep up sometimes, as I don't use it as a daily journal. I try to write mini-sermons, with jokes inbetween in order to lighten it up. I write out of the joys and pain of my life as well as others around me. Seems like a simple and honest formula. It has worked for me until lately. I'm going through stuff that I don't want to put out to the public, which means I don't write alot. It's sad, because the writing has been an enjoyable thing. It's just that some things are best not to air publicly, and so sometimes I balance that by pulling back and showing only one side of who I am. Okay, I think you're getting by now that this post will be an honest one.
Life brings us to places that we don't anticipate. When we're young we are passionate, and we don't see the obstacles or detours that older people may see. It protects us from losing our visions and dreams. As we age we encounter the obstacles and detours and either forge through or change direction. We experience great success in some areas and great disappointment in others. All our aggregate experiences and our responses to them forge us into the individuals that we currently are. Many times people say "If I had to do it all over again I would have made different choices." Maybe, but those choices wouldn't necessarily have been better. Certainly had different choices been made you and I would probably have turned out differently. Some days you might think that a good thing. I don't know about that.
We all come to crossroads in our life, and we all handle them differently. I can't speak into your life what you should do at certain points unless I have all the facts and history in order to make a qualified recommendation. To do any less would do an injustice to you and your situation. And to be honest, most of the time it's none of my business to make a recommendation to you unless there is permission of relationship or expressed permission. My job as a friend and Christian is to love you, pray for you, offer you help. To be there when the moment is right with words of what I perceive is wisdom (through my own set of filters), then to back away and let you make your choices.
I need people like this in my life. There are a few but I need more. There are those who find it difficult to not take a side or have an opinion in the happenings in people's lives, including my own. There are those who don't feel it inappropriate to discuss my personal life or that of anyone else to others. The Bible refers to that as gossip and according to God's hierarchy of categorizing "sin" is no different than murder, stealing, etc. In fact, it appears that gossip is the great sin in the Christian church. After all, the other sins are preached against too much to get away unnoticed if performed.
Church should be a refuge for those, like me, who are hurting. It should be a place where judgment is not meted out and safety is not removed. It shouldn't be a place where people have their agendas and other individuals must join with each one or agree with each one or suffer looks, snubbing, being postulated at or about. If I don't look like I'm hurting don't think you know my heart. You have no idea what happens inside it while I'm smiling on the outside. You don't know the tears I've shed. You don't know why I've made the choices I have. And you don't need to know. You need to live Christ's life to me. Is that too bold? We all fail, sure. I can't ask you to live by any standard that I too am not committed to living with you. I need to examine my own heart as well. I hope we all get honest answers when we do.

For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, and too much pressure from my job, ear wax build-up, poor blood or anything else I could think of. But now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked!

Here's why:

The population of Canada is 30 million. 11 million
are retired, that leaves 19 million to do the work.

There are 5.5 million in school, which leaves 13.5
million to do the work. Of this there are 3 million employed by the federal government, leaving 10.5 million to do the work.

1 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Terrorists, which leaves 9.5 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 7 million people who work for Provincial and city Governments, and that leaves 2.5 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 476,000 people in hospitals, leaving 2,024,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons and 812,000 on Employment Insurance and Welfare.

That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me.

And there you are sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes.

Yes, there's more. It's funny how Len has occupied so much of my thoughts. Not just now but all this past year. But before I get sappy, let me tell my story. You had to know there would be one!
When Len was dying in the hospital a co-worker came to me wanting to take about our common friend. She began by creating a feeling of commonality with me by sharing in the news of his current demise. She sought out what I knew about him. Then as she felt "safe" she tried to tell me that he wasn't that sweet - that he had a very dark side. They had been neighbours since childhood and she had witnessed and heard about sad things. The next level was to begin to tell me some details. I stopped her. I told her that these things may have been true, but there was only one way I could "judge" what kind of person Len was. I couldn't comment about what he was to anyone else, but to me he was someone who showed open love and compassion to me and my family. There was no doubt that he cared and he wanted to be with us. He didn't discriminate in his friendship with any one of us. No matter what darkness may have been before or during, I would always love him for that. I was his fan. Those were the eyes I saw him through, and it would not change.
Things aren't always good in our lives. We all do and say things that we're embarrassed about. I am the first one to admit that I'm not all that I want to be. We need to be looked at through the eyes of love and tenderness. Through eyes that don't judge based on what is heard but what is known through relationship. And if we don't have relationship with that person, then we reserve comment. Perhaps it's ideal, but to me it can be a reality. I'm asking for it in my life to the best of your ability and I'm willing to give it in yours to the best of mine.

Here's something I found in my journal, from just after Len died. It's a conversation Matthew and I had just before he turned 6 years old.

Matthew asked me tonight at bedtime if Lenny's spirit is in God's. I responded that yes, they are together. For his bedtime prayer Matthew said, "God, I hope Lenny is having fun up there in his spirit. I hope I can be with Lenny again someday when I die, and I hope we can have fun here too. Amen."
Pretty cool, hey?

While sitting, lift your right foot off the floor and make
clockwise circles.

Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right
hand.

Your foot will change direction and there's nothing you can do about it.

As we live our daily lives we never know the affects on those around us. A seemingly simple act or kindness takes on a different meaning to the recipient.
Today I had a conversation with a woman I have come to know on the level of preliminary friendship. A few weeks ago her son spent the day with us, and I had cooked a roast that afternoon. It was important that the roast be done by 5:00 due to evening commitments. I took the roast out just as she came to the door. I said "Wait while I get you some, because I don't need all of it tonight and I know how hard it is to go home and think about cooking after a long day of work." Seemingly simple and relatively meaningless gesture. She was happy, expressed appreciation, and the next day thanked me again. Today she expressed a different form of thankfulness.
Over the last few days I've found out more of her personal life story. As she cried she told me about that night. The only food she had in her house that day was bread, and she didn't know what she was going to feed the kids. A simple act became a powerful one to her, and to me as I listened.
How many things have we done or been inclined to do, thinking that it was not much? It is awesome how God takes these things and spins them for Him. The small things become great.
Many years ago a friend told me he had struck up a friendship with someone from our old home town. It was a young woman, about 2 years younger than me, whose brother I had gone to elementary and junior high school with. I knew the woman a bit, but didn't think I had much impact on her. We weren't close friends nor did we travel in common circles often. My friend told me that this woman had become a Christian along her life's path, after she had moved away from home. She told him that I was a major influence in her decision. I was surprised and humbled. How could I have impacted her and not realized it?
People watch. People listen. They're hurting and we don't even realize. Simple acts of kindness mean more than we imagine.
I'm sure you all know scripture verses that relate to these stories, and feel free to post them.

I love the Lord, for He heard my voice;
He heard my cry for mercy.
Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.
The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me;
I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.
Then I called on the name of the Lord: O Lord,save me!

The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.
The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me.

Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.
For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet are stumbling,
that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living.

My sister Marie

Recently I have again had to face the fact that even the people who are trying to live up to Christ's teachings are human. Read Marie's post "What did that fellow Christ try to tell us" here

At Bible Study not too long ago we studied Abraham and the promise of many children. Here's a promise that seemed like a joke, because he and Sarah were OLD and without children. Being people who figured they would help God out, or maybe wondering if God literally meant the two of them together would conceive they made arrangements for Abraham to impregnate Hagar. After many more years of no "fruit" from God's promise Sarah finally became pregnant and gave birth to a son. A promised one.
We could all understand this story from an emotional and analytical perspective. But where it derailed a bit was the part where God told Abraham to take Isaac up to the mountain and sacrifice him on an alter. Many people, Christians and non-Christians have difficulty with this request. How could God tell someone to kill their son...and more, how could a father intend to do it? In the story we find out that at the moment of the knife being raised in preparation for thrusting God delivered a sacrifice animal to replace Isaac and told Abraham to stop. Fine...it's good that God stopped everything because it redeems our faith in His goodness or lack of weirdness. But what would God's motivation have been in this strange request? I'm not a scholar, so I don't know the real answer to that. Scholars don't even know. But I have an opinion to share which impacts our lives (no big surprise there).
Abraham and Sarah laughed at the messengers when they said she would bear a child. They doubted whether or not they heard the message or the terminology details correctly. Maybe it was just Abraham who would father the child and he would joint he family that Sarah shared. Yeah, that would work. Let's make that happen, God willing. Sounds like some of the logic we use from time to time. Sometimes we have a hard time believing God or that we have understood Him correctly so we make subtle and convenient changes in what we have heard. It's not new; it's as old as the snake talking to Eve in the garden. Then God affirms His word by delivering on it. Behold Isaac. This child had nothing to do with Abraham and Sarah. It was only God, since it had been proven for many years that Abraham and Sarah could not conceive.
The promise had taken root. Then God asked Abraham to remove the promise. Something he had probably become sure of was no longer to be counted on. He couldn't fix the problem it would create. God would have to do that again. It would either remove his faith or root it deep. On his own he was powerless. A promise once made, not seen, substitute attempted (which turned ugly), the promise fulfilled, and God showing him that He is the only one Abraham can truly hope in. Maybe that's the message to me. God is the only one. Not the promise, not the object that appears to be the fulfillment of the promise, but the promiser.

Last year when Len lay in the hospital I sent this email to Scott, talking about the impact of that morning in church. I read this at Len's funeral and kept the compositon as part of my journal, in memory of him. If you don't know him or the church it may not be as meaningful to you, but it is meaningful to me.

This morning I saw the miracle and "purpose" in what is happening to Len. Many people say that God can provide a miracle and Len can live and even recover more than anticipated. That can be. But we don't need that in order to see what amazing things God is doing out of this. Perhaps I'm not making sense.
This morning in church was an amazing God time. Len brought unification of purpose and emotions to the church, making it a family...a "real" church. We were all feeling the same pain, loving the same person, caring for each other. There was no agenda, no competition, no grandstanding. The music team was immersed in worship and humbled by the finiteness yet the blessing of life.
This morning as I saw those embracing throughout the church I was amazed at how many lives Len has touched. he truly has shown Christ. More so, I see him as a child. His enthusiasm for...anything...and his love for anyone, sometimes to his detriment. Right now I see this little child yearning to hold God, and God yearning to hold him. I suppose even now the embrace is happening, though I don't fully understand it. No separation...nothing remaining...nothing to distract. It's a miracle.
You see, some pray for a miracle. I've seen it. To me it's not recovery of his body or awakening of his body. Some pray for him to be revived to be a further witness for Christ. If that is to be, the Selah. Today though I saw his testimony...his witness..his purpose. That we may all stop from the distractions of our own problems and love someone who has loved us more than we could ever express back. I guess it does sound like Christ.


I miss you, Len. I miss your laugh, smile, bounce, musicianship, ravenous consumption of that whole plate of chocolate chip cookies that I thought would be enough for 4 people, and the joy in your heart when you gave Matthew a present for Christmas. You have touched my life with the simplicity of your love and acceptance. May we all learn to be like this.

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"


And now let's talk about my own mom. The retro chick! A 70's costume for Halloween (which came out of my everyday closet of things I wear) and man did she dance!

So, the news is...we all meet at Sushi's house. Sunday night 7:00. We don't know exactly what time she and Jeff will be here, but let's plan for then. Party!!!!!

Deb is coming to visit this Sunday night around 7:00. Location TBA. Any local blogger is welcome!

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

My sister Carol has provided me with three days worth of blogs with this one joke. This is episode 1. Do any of these sound familiar to you?

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."