Saturday, March 25, 2006
Changes
When I was looking for work last fall, my confidence was low. I had been out of the professional work force for a year and a half, and on a personal level was reconstructing myself from the ground up. I needed to get any work that was reasonable pay, but also thought the timing for re-evaluating what I wanted to do was perfect. I sought help from an Employment/Career Services agency.
During the self-evaluations and workshops, I would sometimes have difficulty not becoming emotional. I had lost the ability to dream, and the lack of confidence was shading my view of the ability to contribute well to a job. I hid my emotions but sometimes they were pressing hard to come out as tears. My counselor asked me "What is your dream for an occupation?" "What do you really want to do?" Those questions shouldn't have cut like a knife, but they did.
I secured a great job. One that is perfect for what I need and uses alot of my skills. We match contractors who have health issues with businesses who want to outsource some of their work. One woman was interviewing to join as a contractor, and I was in the room doing my administrative work. Our interviewer asked her "What do you want to do?" What is your dream?" As the woman responded, I heard in her voice the same emotion that was in mine only a couple months prior. She had been healthy, but then an accident left her with pain that was difficult to manage on some days. Way different, and way more difficult than what I had worked through. I felt for this woman, as I recognized that she too had her confidence knocked out of her, and didn't know where to go next. She knew what she used to do, but didn't know how to do it with her changes.
My life is not where I thought it would be if you had asked me years ago. I've had much happiness and much turmoil, as we all have. It has taken some turns that were not planned. But I'm at a good place. I am loved and I have family. I have a hopeful future.
Scott wrote about our upcoming marriage. It was a wonderfully insightful post. I count myself as incredibly fortunate to have him and what he brings to me. He always tells me that all he can bring to me is love and loyalty. But there is so much more.
He gives me the freedom to be me, without expectations. That's perhaps the best gift he could bring.
During the self-evaluations and workshops, I would sometimes have difficulty not becoming emotional. I had lost the ability to dream, and the lack of confidence was shading my view of the ability to contribute well to a job. I hid my emotions but sometimes they were pressing hard to come out as tears. My counselor asked me "What is your dream for an occupation?" "What do you really want to do?" Those questions shouldn't have cut like a knife, but they did.
I secured a great job. One that is perfect for what I need and uses alot of my skills. We match contractors who have health issues with businesses who want to outsource some of their work. One woman was interviewing to join as a contractor, and I was in the room doing my administrative work. Our interviewer asked her "What do you want to do?" What is your dream?" As the woman responded, I heard in her voice the same emotion that was in mine only a couple months prior. She had been healthy, but then an accident left her with pain that was difficult to manage on some days. Way different, and way more difficult than what I had worked through. I felt for this woman, as I recognized that she too had her confidence knocked out of her, and didn't know where to go next. She knew what she used to do, but didn't know how to do it with her changes.
My life is not where I thought it would be if you had asked me years ago. I've had much happiness and much turmoil, as we all have. It has taken some turns that were not planned. But I'm at a good place. I am loved and I have family. I have a hopeful future.
Scott wrote about our upcoming marriage. It was a wonderfully insightful post. I count myself as incredibly fortunate to have him and what he brings to me. He always tells me that all he can bring to me is love and loyalty. But there is so much more.
He gives me the freedom to be me, without expectations. That's perhaps the best gift he could bring.
// posted by Annette @ 10:04 p.m. 