Friday, September 02, 2005
The journey
It's been just over a year since I began blogging. It was with reluctant sign-up that it began. I didn't feel I would have the time or the ideas to do this. Many times that feeling returned and I considered closing the site for one reason or another. Last week was again one of those times when I thought "It's not worth it".
I haven't written this much in my whole life. I decided it would be good to go back through my archives and see the progression of my life as it was portrayed physically, spiritually and emotionally. I wanted to see if there was any change in me throughout the documented life of Annette.
When I look back to last July and August (which is as far as I've gone) I read about some of the same things I still write or think about. Forgiveness and gossip was on the blog in July, but it was about someone other than me. Facing fears was there too. Feeling disconnected as a person. The redemptive power of Christ, in every facet of life. As I read these writings, I was in a way surprised and sometimes disappointed at how fully I have borne my soul. Telling of experiences that shaped me. Dreams and nightmares. So much was revealed to people that I may not even know.
Reading and copying them onto my hard drive was a way of creating a journal of the past. I still deal with the same ghosts I dealt with then, though gladly on a lesser scale. And I deal with new ones that I had never before experienced. But one thing stands out so strongly. One thing encouraged me.
Some of the things that had a strangle-hold no longer do. Some of the things I wrestled with regularly are now in God's hands...for real. I can see very clearly part of the journey I've been on, and where it has taken me from and to. As it continues I hope for more of the same. Whether I write about it or not.
A New Life
He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own. Because of this decision we don't evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly don't look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it!
I haven't written this much in my whole life. I decided it would be good to go back through my archives and see the progression of my life as it was portrayed physically, spiritually and emotionally. I wanted to see if there was any change in me throughout the documented life of Annette.
When I look back to last July and August (which is as far as I've gone) I read about some of the same things I still write or think about. Forgiveness and gossip was on the blog in July, but it was about someone other than me. Facing fears was there too. Feeling disconnected as a person. The redemptive power of Christ, in every facet of life. As I read these writings, I was in a way surprised and sometimes disappointed at how fully I have borne my soul. Telling of experiences that shaped me. Dreams and nightmares. So much was revealed to people that I may not even know.
Reading and copying them onto my hard drive was a way of creating a journal of the past. I still deal with the same ghosts I dealt with then, though gladly on a lesser scale. And I deal with new ones that I had never before experienced. But one thing stands out so strongly. One thing encouraged me.
Some of the things that had a strangle-hold no longer do. Some of the things I wrestled with regularly are now in God's hands...for real. I can see very clearly part of the journey I've been on, and where it has taken me from and to. As it continues I hope for more of the same. Whether I write about it or not.
A New Life
He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own. Because of this decision we don't evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly don't look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it!
// posted by Annette @ 9:54 a.m. 