be-musings

I like my place. It's the top of a duplex on a quarter acre. The guy downstairs is very quiet, and sometimes travels. I still feel like I have privacy, without having to pay much money. It's exactly what I needed after moving out of the house.
This week Matthew is away for 8 days. I'm trying to keep busy so that I don't get too lonely for him. Trying to deny those feelings. So, I'm taking the time to touch up the place. You know, painting and doing those "homey" touches. Things that make me feel settled in as well as esthetic things to appeal to the eye.
Not only am I doing upkeep on the house, but my inside space as well. Reading in bed. Listening to music that moves the inner part of me. Spending some time in contemplation, but not too much time. For me too much time means a diversion to the melancholy. Just enough time to be able to formulate this blog.
As I said, I like my place. What I haven't told you is that I mean both places. The outside place and the inside space of who I am. Yeah, I'm not without flaws and slipping into discouragement. I wrestle with stuff. I realize though, that I don't need to be perfect.
For the first time in my life I like myself. Not the me that I want to be. Regardless of my flaws, in their multitude. I like myself. It's a good place to be. It's what I need.