be-musings

A while ago I wrote about needing to let go of a couple people in my life. Not to say goodbye, but to give up on worrying about things they do or don't do. I had to give them totally to God. When I did this, I used the symbolism of throwing two rocks into the water while praying.
Weeks later, as I jogged past the spot that I did this, I reflected back on the prayer and the releasing of these people. I realized that in my life it's so easy to keep taking them back. To want them to see things as I saw "best". While passing the spot, I consciously chose to leave them where I had left them.
As I continued on, the terrain sloped up a hill. How much like my life is that? I reach a fork in the road, where a decision is made. I revisit the fork sometimes, wondering if an alternate decision would be good to try. As I continue on, things become difficult. In this case, continuing to let go. While moving up the road, it was hard work. I almost gave up and began walking. I didn't know what was on the other side of the hill, but pressed on toward the goal. Sure enough, right after the peak of the hill the trail dipped downward and I picked up momentum. My heart rate settled and breathing came easy. But around the corner was another set of hills. I kept on until my time target, then I turned back. Oh, the journey was so much like the ups and downs of my life. Sometimes I have wanted to recoil and not move. Just to sit down and go neither forward nor back. Maybe I did sit for a few moments, but to stay there would be pointless. Alone in the middle of nowhere.
As I returned to the car along the same route, I passed the "letting go" site again. I stopped and prayed once more, the same prayer of that first day. I've continued to let them go. They're in God's control and power, not mine.