Monday, July 04, 2005
Ten Ways to Maintain Your Privacy (Red Green)
1. Place a "Watch for Land Mines" sign on your front lawn beside an exploded car.
2. Keep a big dog chewing a pantleg on your porch.
3. Rewire your doorbell so that it plays a tape of gunshots.
4. Cover your welcome mat with shards of broken beer bottles.
5. Put one of those yellow "Police--Do not Cross" tapes across the end of your driveway.
6. On your front door hang a sign saying "Caution--Exorcism in Progress."
7. Leave a pizza delivery car in your driveway with the door open and the engine running for a week or so.
8. When you see someone approaching, start a chainsaw running inside the house.
9. Place quarantine signs around your property.
10. In the middle of the night, turn over a rectangle of your front lawn so that it looks like a fresh grave. Add another one every few months.
2. Keep a big dog chewing a pantleg on your porch.
3. Rewire your doorbell so that it plays a tape of gunshots.
4. Cover your welcome mat with shards of broken beer bottles.
5. Put one of those yellow "Police--Do not Cross" tapes across the end of your driveway.
6. On your front door hang a sign saying "Caution--Exorcism in Progress."
7. Leave a pizza delivery car in your driveway with the door open and the engine running for a week or so.
8. When you see someone approaching, start a chainsaw running inside the house.
9. Place quarantine signs around your property.
10. In the middle of the night, turn over a rectangle of your front lawn so that it looks like a fresh grave. Add another one every few months.
// posted by Annette @ 7:17 p.m. 