Sunday, July 10, 2005
Church
The search for a church is difficult. I've been to a few this last number of months, and sometimes instead opted to head to nature with Bible in hand. Today I tried out a church that I haven't been to for several years. It was a trying time. The premises were not where I thought they were. I considered leaving when I saw where they were holding the service. It held memories for me that meant purging some things. Working through the past. As I was thinking about that, the music team sang a song which reminded me of this winter. A signature song that brought up some more stuff. Ironic...as I was thinking about sticking around in the building, I thought "Next it's probably going to push me further by the team doing "x" song. Well, they did right after the thought had come. Now I'm smiling as I think of it. The irony of God. I stayed a while longer, dropped my money in the offering bag, and went for a walk. Lately my closest God moments are in the woods or by water. It brings reflection.
I walked through the meadow leading to the forest. This scripture/song kept running through my mind:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases
His mercies they never come to an end
They are new every morning, new every morning
Great is your faithfulness oh Lord
Great is your faithfulness.
As I passed people we smiled and greeted each other. Community. I patted some eager dogs. As soon as I hit the woods I ventured on a solitary path I had never been on. This was a good time for an adventure. As I dodged edges of stray blackberry bushes and looked at the trees I sang aloud part of this song that I've quoted before:
Make a joyful noise to the Lord all the earth (x4)
The flowers of the field cry to be heard
The trees of the forest are singing
And all of the mountains with one voice
Are joining the chorus of this world
Yeah......................
I rejoined a familiar path in the woods and walked to a stream. Usually I stand on the path above the stream, but this time I went to the other side of the path and climbed down onto the drainage pipe. I sat for a while, praying, complaining a bit. Deciding that was where to leave my melancholiness, I walked back to the church, wrestling between getting in the car and going home or finishing out the service. I summoned courage and returned to the service at the end of the sermon. After dismissal I decided it was time to face the ghosts of the building. I walked the hallways while the music team sang Faithful One so unchanging.
You are my Rock in times of trouble
You lift me up when I fall down
All through the storm your love is
The answer
My hope is in you alone.
As I walked I harmonized to the song. Worshipped some more. I visited rooms that held memories and said goodbye to them. They're only rooms. Many people have come and gone in them and they have had many uses. Only rooms...no more.
I didn't get what I bargained for this morning. It was disjointed, unfocused, varied, and some would say it wasn't church because I only participated in 15 minutes of the service. Yet God met me in every part. He opened me, touched me, reminded me of His permanence.
I walked through the meadow leading to the forest. This scripture/song kept running through my mind:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases
His mercies they never come to an end
They are new every morning, new every morning
Great is your faithfulness oh Lord
Great is your faithfulness.
As I passed people we smiled and greeted each other. Community. I patted some eager dogs. As soon as I hit the woods I ventured on a solitary path I had never been on. This was a good time for an adventure. As I dodged edges of stray blackberry bushes and looked at the trees I sang aloud part of this song that I've quoted before:
Make a joyful noise to the Lord all the earth (x4)
The flowers of the field cry to be heard
The trees of the forest are singing
And all of the mountains with one voice
Are joining the chorus of this world
Yeah......................
I rejoined a familiar path in the woods and walked to a stream. Usually I stand on the path above the stream, but this time I went to the other side of the path and climbed down onto the drainage pipe. I sat for a while, praying, complaining a bit. Deciding that was where to leave my melancholiness, I walked back to the church, wrestling between getting in the car and going home or finishing out the service. I summoned courage and returned to the service at the end of the sermon. After dismissal I decided it was time to face the ghosts of the building. I walked the hallways while the music team sang Faithful One so unchanging.
You are my Rock in times of trouble
You lift me up when I fall down
All through the storm your love is
The answer
My hope is in you alone.
As I walked I harmonized to the song. Worshipped some more. I visited rooms that held memories and said goodbye to them. They're only rooms. Many people have come and gone in them and they have had many uses. Only rooms...no more.
I didn't get what I bargained for this morning. It was disjointed, unfocused, varied, and some would say it wasn't church because I only participated in 15 minutes of the service. Yet God met me in every part. He opened me, touched me, reminded me of His permanence.
// posted by Annette @ 11:43 a.m. 