Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Red Green
If you've found my posts to be trivial as of late, I'm sorry. There are things rattling around in my brain that need to come out, but I'm massaging them with time. For now, the new book is a great topic. It contains great advice on interpersonal relationships, such as the quote below.
The Art of Avoiding Conversation
Here are 5 Survival Tips on how to keep a marriage smoking long after the fire has gone out.
• Be very quiet when she’s talking. If she stops talking, always wait a full minute before speaking: she may not be finished.
• Do not change the subject. Even if you have to speak first, you can usually figure out what she wants to talk about. For example, if she’s trying to clean an oil stain on the kitchen floor, she probably wants to talk about you trying to fix the lawnmower in the sink.
• Watch her body language. Alter what you’re saying in response to what she does. If she stops doing her nails and starts sharpening a knife, it’s time for you to do a 180.
• Maintain eye contact. If you can’t see her eyes, you have no idea how things are going. If you’re working on the car and she asks you about plans for the weekend, take the time to roll out on the creeper so you can see her response rather than just yelling, “I’m going fishing with Bob. I told you that last week” from under the car. Remember: she has access to heavy tools and the lower half of your body is exposed. Always maintain eye contact. Don’t have conversations in the dark and don’t talk to your wife on the telephone unless you’re a professional.
• Keep you sentences short. Five words maximum. That allows you to change directions quickly if it’s not going well. You can say “Unless” or “But” or “Whatever.” Short sentences give her a chance to talk. Which is what you want. You want the conversation to go her way. It’s not about success. It’s about survival.
The Art of Avoiding Conversation
Here are 5 Survival Tips on how to keep a marriage smoking long after the fire has gone out.
• Be very quiet when she’s talking. If she stops talking, always wait a full minute before speaking: she may not be finished.
• Do not change the subject. Even if you have to speak first, you can usually figure out what she wants to talk about. For example, if she’s trying to clean an oil stain on the kitchen floor, she probably wants to talk about you trying to fix the lawnmower in the sink.
• Watch her body language. Alter what you’re saying in response to what she does. If she stops doing her nails and starts sharpening a knife, it’s time for you to do a 180.
• Maintain eye contact. If you can’t see her eyes, you have no idea how things are going. If you’re working on the car and she asks you about plans for the weekend, take the time to roll out on the creeper so you can see her response rather than just yelling, “I’m going fishing with Bob. I told you that last week” from under the car. Remember: she has access to heavy tools and the lower half of your body is exposed. Always maintain eye contact. Don’t have conversations in the dark and don’t talk to your wife on the telephone unless you’re a professional.
• Keep you sentences short. Five words maximum. That allows you to change directions quickly if it’s not going well. You can say “Unless” or “But” or “Whatever.” Short sentences give her a chance to talk. Which is what you want. You want the conversation to go her way. It’s not about success. It’s about survival.
// posted by Annette @ 9:19 p.m. 