Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Road Disgruntlement
I was driving home Sunday, windows rolled down, through a construction area. As the light ahead had already turned yellow and was about to become red, I stopped (as it did so). The young man driving behind me didn't seem to agree with my decision, because I heard and saw him frustratedly shout a drawn out swear word. Since I don't swear, I won't write it here (those who know me well are now laughing hysterically because something I said there wasn't true. I won't tell you what it is). Back to the story.
As I waited nervously at the traffic light, frustrated guy behind me, I planned my response. Drive like heck, enough over the speed limit to hopefully stay ahead of him and yet not so fast that I get a ticket. I didn't want him to address me further if he got close enough to drive beside me. As the light turned green I accelerated immediately, and hard. Beat him. I kept checking the rear view mirror until he turned off the highway a few minutes later. Phew. I avoided confrontation. I was able to control my circumstances that time.
Before this experience of road digruntlement I came to face (again) the fact that I need to give some things to God. I realized (again) that there were some circumstances frustrating me and I wanted my way in them. It wasn't right, and I had to let go (again). It's a lesson I've had to yield to many times...at least I'm recognizing a bit sooner than I used to. So, I took a walk with my Bible in my backpack, and prayed. I let go of my desire to control the situation and let go of myself as well.
You know, I may take the control back again. I may have to give it up again. I hope if that's the case that the next time my attempt at possession will be shorter-lived and my surrender more long-term. For now though, I live in the relief of not having to be the one in charge. It's much easier to let Someone else have that job, even when I question His decisions.
Mortals make elaborate plans, but God has the last word.
Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good, God probes for what is good.
We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it.(Proverbs 16:1, 2, 9)
As I waited nervously at the traffic light, frustrated guy behind me, I planned my response. Drive like heck, enough over the speed limit to hopefully stay ahead of him and yet not so fast that I get a ticket. I didn't want him to address me further if he got close enough to drive beside me. As the light turned green I accelerated immediately, and hard. Beat him. I kept checking the rear view mirror until he turned off the highway a few minutes later. Phew. I avoided confrontation. I was able to control my circumstances that time.
Before this experience of road digruntlement I came to face (again) the fact that I need to give some things to God. I realized (again) that there were some circumstances frustrating me and I wanted my way in them. It wasn't right, and I had to let go (again). It's a lesson I've had to yield to many times...at least I'm recognizing a bit sooner than I used to. So, I took a walk with my Bible in my backpack, and prayed. I let go of my desire to control the situation and let go of myself as well.
You know, I may take the control back again. I may have to give it up again. I hope if that's the case that the next time my attempt at possession will be shorter-lived and my surrender more long-term. For now though, I live in the relief of not having to be the one in charge. It's much easier to let Someone else have that job, even when I question His decisions.
Mortals make elaborate plans, but God has the last word.
Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good, God probes for what is good.
We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it.(Proverbs 16:1, 2, 9)
// posted by Annette @ 9:01 p.m. 