be-musings

Blogging in the style that I use can be a very vulnerable experience. You know what I mean. Really I shouldn't as this is a public site for anyone to read, but this tendency is hard to ignore. I don't blog to ramble or to fill space or time. I'm not informed on current events enough to link to interesting articles. This is about my personal journey, and also the journey of others. If I seem to "harp" on an issue or psychosis it's because I feel deep in my heart that is the timely thing, not only as an expression of myself and fundamental in my healing, but also as a way of accompanying others though their journey. I pray as I do it (not saying this as a way to make myself superior to anyone, but to tell you some of what I do and what I am on this blog experience). It's not just for me, it's for others too.
For many years I've been a strong woman who doesn't give credence to issues. "Get over it" has been my quiet theory for other people and myself. That has been good for the large portion of my life. Right now I'm in a time where I'm confronting the things I've used that attitude on, which have tended to resurface at different unpredictable points of my life. Things I had moved on from presumably had moved on with me. This is a time to bury them and live free. The process has been fast...6 weeks. But perhaps to those who have read the step by step trip of it all it seems narcissistic and painfully slow.
When I read the other blogs of some in the church I realize that I'm not the only one processing life, expressing the ugly things, and finding the healing. It's a God thing in a strong way. Though the blog format is public, some people are finding freedom in writing through their issues because it's forcing them to articulate that which they wanted to surpress. And the mutual support they are finding through this method has been making them brave to continue dealing with their crap. Not only that, but making some of them feel accepted and part of a family, perhaps for the first time.
Some may feel excluded from this "community" for any number of reasons. That is something I can't help. If you feel excluded, begin your own blog. If you can't blog in the same style as Brander then choose your own style. If a blog site repulses you then don't read it. This isn't a competition for who will be chosen as Homecoming King/Queen (or in my school, the Prince and Princess). For me, it's a way of working through life...the good and the bad. The times when God feels close, and the times when I cry out for Him. I don't know all the readers personally, but would guess that most of us are on that same journey. We just choose different ways to live it.