be-musings

FINE: This is the word she uses at the end of any argument that she feels she is right about but needs to shut you up. NEVER use "fine" to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so she feels that it's an even trade.
NOTHING: This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."
NOTHING (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare, one that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."
GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows): This means, "I give up," or, "Do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine," and she will talk to you in "Five Minutes," when she cools off.
(LOUD SIGH): This is not actually a word, but it is still often a verbal statement very much misunderstood by men. A Loud Sigh means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time, standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."
(SOFT SIGH): Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. Soft Sighs are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
OH: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Examples: "Oh, let me get that!" Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says, "Oh," before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days. "Oh," as the lead to a sentence, usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead," followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.
THAT'S OK: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's OK" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retribution for what ever it is that she perceives you have done. "That's OK" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." At some point in the near future, when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
PLEASE DO: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that she perceives you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful, and you shouldn't get a "That's OK."
THANKS: A woman is thanking you. Don't faint, just say, "You're welcome."
THANKS A LOT: This is much different than "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks a lot," when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what's wrong after the "Loud Sigh," since she will tell you only "Nothing."