be-musings

When I was a little girl I was afraid of the closet shadows. Not a real fear that something would come out and get me at night, but still an "honouring" which left me awake part of the nights, watching to ensure there was no change in the shapes in the darkness. No monsters living there.
30 years later I still have had monsters living in my closet. That closet is in the recesses of my mind and heart. At my very existence.
I've done things which shame me. Things which make me feel unworthy of love. And these are not necessarily acts I have done, but sometimes inaction in a time when inaction was the easiest thing to do. But not the "right thing". I have carried these burdens for more than 15 years. I've had a purging as of late. I've told some of my most guilt-ridden secrets and found love, not judgement, in return. By this love I've been taught that my Father is not disappointed in me. He understands. He forgives me more than I forgive myself.
At our church office is stenciled the words "No Regrets". It has come to have special meaning to me this last few months, first in what I think of another woman who has faced her sins and come out clean. To me it seemed so poignant in her life. But tonight during street church's prayer circle it spoke to me personally. No Regrets. Nothing we do or have done makes us unworthy. God redeems everything for Him.

You know the thing about monsters? They can't hurt us if we don't let them. Go check out the closet. Let them go. Don't be haunted by them anymore. It's really you who is doing the haunting.

No Regrets. All is redeemed.