be-musings

It's been 6 years since Matthew joined our family. In a previous post I referred to wanting a girl and being "disappointed" when we got the call for a boy. As you know, now I'm glad that a boy is what we have. But let me tell you more about what happened after the first call.
We got excited about adopting Matthew after the call. We were told it would take about 2 weeks to be able to go see him. We waiting for the call to prepare to go. Our adoption worker called us within about two weeks, but it was not to say that it was time. It was to say that the plan fell through. Another family member was arranging a family adoption. Our worker told us that Matthew's social worker was so upset by the plan of care that she was crying with him on the phone. He had never experienced this reaction from another worker. I found this out at work, and as I told my boss I cried and we hugged.
So, I went from being disappointed he not a girl to praying for him daily. I would ask God to find a good home for him, whether it be ours or not. I grew to love him, whether he was to be our child or not. I wondered what his future would hold arrangements that were being made.
Over the summer and along a rocky road of what seemed to be ever changing plans, we did end up adopting Matthew. And as much as I am still frustrated at the process of events that summer, I'm glad that we didn't get approved at the first phone call. I needed that time for my heart to be soft. To prepare to mother.